Looking Back

So, A. is on her journey down south and back to Mumbai to take a job or other at the beginning of December. I wonder if she took a journal to write in?

S said that because I hadn't mentioned **** that therefore she thought I had forgiven her. Which is startling to me. That she could have become so unhappy to want to reject me, thinking I hadn't forgiven her. This is so far wrong as I never felt agrieved, at least not like some sort of property owner. I was astonished that she threw **** over (at least temporarily) and called me very late at night to tell me everything. Or most everything. No, I felt lucky that she loved me that much. The missing ***** irritated me, not because of what it meant, but because it was not accepted and explained. One feels so foolish when something becomes so blatant it can not be ignored no matter how absent minded one is, but still the other person clings to so demonstrably false story -- it is so aggravating and so unnecessary. But the point here -- the very important point -- is that I can not lose her because she thinks I can not forgive her. What can I do? I am afraid of losing her.